1. What calls attention to my [specific chakra/energy center/focal point/circumstance] at this time? MOTHER OF SEAS [reversed] – With this part of myself on low power, it is hard for me to see where I’m going or even trying to go. Moreover, I’m unable to see myself as worthy, capable, confident for what I need to do. My perception is being skewed by what everyone else is thinking of me. Over-reliance on what others see, good and bad, means that I cannot move for myself, acknowledge for myself. It’s been a while since I’ve been here, but I understand that my solar plexus chakra is my life’s work in as much as it is the heart of my healing practice. I give to others, what do I leave for my own healing?
2. What do I need to breathe out to unblock the flow of positive energy? LILITH (Power – The Emperor). My birth card always comes through when things are crucial. I’m a bit pained that it showed up in the part of the spread I need to release, but then again there’s always been a side to this card that clearly defined my shadow aspects. Where the rigidity, pride, and stubbornness of The Emperor left me moving from the place of my lowest vibration. She shows up in this spread on her side, not a place of power but more of surrender. I’ve just let things happen to me for too long, but I also need to very carefully evaluate what exactly it is that I need to stop happening to allow for what I want to happen… scratch that, what I need to do to make it happen, this is about strength of will after all.
3. What do I need to breathe in to encourage the flow of positive energy? MAIDEN OF WIND (CLARITY) [reversed] – This spread is so much about seeing and knowing in a different way. Inverted, the art of Maiden of Wind is all about the fierce golden eagle ancestor guide. What might it mean to see through the eagle and not my just rely on my own aim? Recently, with startling frequency, I’m being asked to look outside of my narrow view and see with the eyes of those wiser, older, ancestor. Not an easy thing with my control issues, but that’s part of the release my birth card came to warn me about.
4. What additional guidance is there to invite balance and stability of flow? SEVEN OF FIRE (Courage) – It’s interesting that the image normally found in STRENGTH is showing up instead in this suit. Except here, the lion and the maiden aren’t on the same side. A different kind of strength is called for, it’s courage. I can’t help but feel like the lion and the maiden are the same being, just trying to find their way to evolving up to the Strength card. Confronting inner demons, as it were, inner shadows, facing up and forward. The hardest work but equally the most rewarding.
Haven’t I been here before?
I pulled the 10 of Disks from the Motherpeace Tarot with a question marking my current space in spiritual health. As much as I was the mother giving birth, I am the child being birthed.
We cycle back and forth through our healing, often healing the same spaces over and over. Perhaps it is that we have to peel the hurt and harm back, layer after layer, and it takes a while before we can come back. Sometimes it’s even that we grew back our layers of hurt and harm and yeah, we do the work over.
Not that it’s hopeless. Anyone paying attention to nature shows that it isn’t so. We shed to renew. This and that layer, and our current skin sustains as until it doesn’t, until it no longer serves us and then back to peeling we go. I won’t pretend that at times it isn’t an ugly, disgusting, sometimes even painful process- and the fresh layer is often raw, exposed, but it is our sacred growth cycle.
And when we settle into our skin we are radiant, renewed, and beautiful.